21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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