frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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