im about as happy as oj after his trial
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
