Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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