I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize