Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
