Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's official drugs can't kill me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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