There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
