am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
