I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
