How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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