Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
