just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
