oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
