Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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