Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
