my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Randomize
