i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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