i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
