Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
