words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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