Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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