Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
