where am i from again
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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