You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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