i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
