i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
