Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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