Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize