I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize