in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
