I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize