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Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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