Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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