i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
