Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
