Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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