I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
