hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Everything about him screamed your future.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
