that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
