Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize