it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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