She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
