Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize