My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
