a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
my poor anus
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize