I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
