i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
