READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
