she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
