We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
