oh god the rape fog is back!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I puked a lego.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
