Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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