Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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