Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
