i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
