it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
