I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
