Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So much rum. So many feels.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
