Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
