when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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