I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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