Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize