Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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