I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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