Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
