the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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