What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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