I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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