Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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