Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
