The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
