At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
