so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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