I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
